We are all on our own unique journey. No one should judge you because we walk our own path. We each have demons that we dance with but each dance with the devil is different. Not one person is the same way they were a year ago. Our lives change us all and it can go either way. For better or worse we all change either we learn and grow or we spiral down until we hit bottom to start our rise up. Sadly some never get back up.
I hit rock bottom and rising up from the ashes of the disaster I created is not a easy journey. I took responsibility for the things I did wrong and have grown from it. I have become a better person a better daughter a better friend and a better mother. The thing I am discovering now is that I can not go back. I can not be true to myself if I go back in anyway from where I came from.
Truly connecting with myself and being completely honest with myself and how I felt about people and circumstances is how I am getting to this point. I have discovered that I have many acquaintances but very few friends. I am okay with that. I am very close to my mother but as far as having a best friend I can’t pick out one person. A handful of family have stood by my side but all others that I let in lied, cheated, stabbed me in the back, withheld things from me and have destroyed any trust of being a close friend. This used to bother me but I now I am learning to live my life without it.
I truly think that is part of the reason that I now detest drama and that not I second guess people’s intentions but I am definitely more careful. Since I have distanced myself from the drama and rumor mills I am finding a different kind of peace. I am slowly learning who God wants me to become slowly but surely it is becoming clear. I am finally learning how to do the dance of life.
I am not judging anyone or the reasons why they do what they do, but I choose not to have any of them be a friend anymore. My life is about me and what is best for me and my children.
My life is my journey alone. I challenge anyone to stop and think and decide if you are on a journey that you are happy with and if you died tomorrow would you be happy with the life you lived?