Having self-esteem is something I think we have always struggled with from time to time. I have went through periods in my life that I didn’t even look in a mirror for more then a split second to make sure that I looked presentable and then turned away from it.
I seem to struggle more now then I used to. My personality is INFJ and so I tend to be harder on myself then normal. I’m a perfectionist who is trying to reform myself and it is a daily struggle. I have noticed that I have missed things because I can’t leave things undone. My house, laundry, barns everything cleaned and put away has become a obsession. I see it as a direct reflection of myself which to me reflects my self-esteem.
When I decided to take my life back over 7 years ago it was a long process that is still a ongoing process but the difference now is I welcome the change and know that it will boost my self-esteem. I know that the reason why I don’t have very many close female friends is because I scare other women. I take no crap and I don’t hold my tongue. I don’t care what others think of me and I stand up for those who have been wronged with no regard for those who hurt them.
Self-esteem for me doesn’t come from others. Some days I feel awful like a lot of us do but most days I know that I have life by the horns and while others from my past still seek to destroy me I know that I will come out on top and that good will always win and whatever life throws at me it better be prepared for what I throw back! I have a hell of a left hook!